The louder you yell the less I care.

OK ........Non traumatic back pain does not justify yelling at the top of your lungs. Telling your parents your back pain is going to get worse if they don't give you what you want goes so far beyond violating rule #1 its hard to understand. When you top it off by screaming at the top of your lungs at your dad to call 911 to prove how bad of a father he is you cross the line from just being a douche bag to being the actual hose that comes with the douche bag. Your attention getting behavior is pathetic. As a 25 YO woman you should know better. For the record the next time you decided to feign back pain to hurt your family remember that the more you yell the less we care.

"MY ENGRISH NOT SO GOOD"

Last night was the night from hell! 13 Calls 10 transports in 12 hours or something close to that! HOWEVER!!!!! every turd has it's bright spot! Fortunately last nights had two. One Im going to let go. She was really sick so she gets a pass the other not so much. We get dispatched to a liquor store in the heart of darkness for an assault (I know big surprise). As I walk in the fire medic and the police are looking at our pt in absolute exasperation and disgust while this dill hole "Pt" continues to ring up customers! Clearly this is a set up for some really funny shit! This guy for the third time in two weeks had chased people out of his store because they pissed him off. Not because they had stolen anything! He just doesn't like a particular ethnic group. Every friggin time he chases someone out of the store he gets his ever loving ass kicked LOL! The poor medic from the fire department is trying to asses this guy while he rings up a line of untermench who are getting their nightly ration of ripple and yelling at mock five in a combination of Korean and engrish! "Sir did you pass out when you were hit?" "NO I NO PISS OFF" What? No sir did you pass out? "I NO FUCKING PISS OFF. YOU NO SPEAK ENGRISH?" OMFG! REARRY! LOL! After ten minutes of this the cops had finally had enough and blocked the guys shop door. At this point the guy went ape shit. "YOU NO CROSE MY DOOR!" Fuck you pal you called us! You're getting assessed ghetto style! You just cant make this shit up. It's what makes nights last last night bearable. That and having a partner thats worth her weight in gold!

SHAME

WANTED FOR DERELICTION OF DUTY

GEN N SCHWARTZ

The Air Force is clearly not an organization that deservers ANY respect. When I saw this photo on Fox I literally became ill. How dare you motherf*#kers! When I was 18 months old my father came home from Vietnam in one of those caskets. Since then Iv'e seen numerous buddies put in them or come home in them. Guys that gave there lives while you ass holes sat on a ramp somewhere making a joke out of their sacrifice. FUCK YOU! You put service members remains in landfills. You mix up bodies. Please explain what it is that you ass holes have done right. YOURE A DISGRACE to the men and women who have given their lives. If General N. Schwartz had any integrity he would at the minimum resign in disgrace. You sir have presided over the most inept handling of service members remains in recent memory. You should be ashamed of the conduct of the men a women under your command. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT CONDUCT! You're in command it's a direct reflection of YOU and your clear lack of any respect for the guys that are slugging it out everyday rather sitting at a desk at the joint chiefs. You should be relieved of command and sent packing along with every son of a bitch in this picture.

Gen Schwartz

HEY SIR! Heres what your guys are saying about this. Why is it that the majority of them don't have an issue with it? Big joke.....funny stuff right sir? I hope to God you never have a family member treated the way your men have treated others.

http://www.afforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=38975

airmen with casket

Ok this is just retarded. Jeep apparently has just released a Jeep based on the call of duty game......... I don't event know where to go with this. This is right up there with Harley Davidson trucks. ITS A FU#@*#G GAME! If your life is that wrapped up in Call Of Duty you have issues. I will grant you it's a fun game but Jesus Christ you might as well put a sign on your car that says "I live in my moms basement and have never been laid". While you clearly have the money to buy one of these you don't have the pride to not be caught dead in one. Clearly a violation of rule #1. And people wonder why the world laughs at us. Common guys really?

NURSE (A verb that means to suck) The street lights are on does your mom know where you are?

Now before you go ape shit understand this is aimed at the verb thats been proudly serving in the ED since around 2:00 pm TODAY. As my partner and I unloaded the third drunk of the evening in one of the local ED's one of the new RN's who looked about 8 years old walks up in a state of complete indignation and states "why didn't you take him to detox?" This was promptly followed by "I notice that your patient is not in a c collar". Ok Clara Barton why don't you take a Quaalude or 15 with this cup of shut the hell up. If you have taken the time to listen to the report you would have caught the fact that the pt was unable to ambulate without assistance. not that that would have mattered to you since you have no idea what the detox criteria are in this town ( able to ambulate W/O assistance, a pressure of less then 180 and a BAC of less then 300). Second of all we transport the afore mentioned douche bag once a day. The pt has CHRONIC lateral neck pain. If you had more then 20 minutes in the field you would understand why the pt was not in a c collar and know enough to keep your mouth shut! After 18 years of doing this it never fails to amaze me how new people to EMS / emergency medicine think they are going to re invent the wheel. I don't know maybe its just me being a grumpy old fart. You would think when the grizzled old Paramedic walks into the room looks at the doc and say's "Hey Bob same story different day. No trauma or new complaints from this morning. Vitals are yada yada yada" The brand new verb would pick up on the fact that these two people have done this once or seven hundred times over the same pt and have a first name working relationship. Maybe just maybe theres some trust there. Maybe just maybe that Paramedic thats been doing this since you were shitting your pants knows what he's doing. But what do I know you clearly have figured out all the answers in your 2 hours on the job. By the way the street lights are on does your mommy know where you are? This post has been edited for length and content! LOL

Rule #1

Everyday life is really pretty simple. As George Carlin in his infinite wisdom explained, you don't really need the 10 commandments. Clearly you can simplify that list dramatically. I like to call it rule number one. All of the others can be summed up with this simple rule.

RULE #1 DON'T BE A DOUCHE BAG

If you need any kind of clarification on this you have already violated the rule.

Absolutism

Ok its been a while since I chimed in. Would someone please tell me when absolutism replaced the rule of reason. It's just fucking unreal. No one has any tolerance for any kind of opposing views. It's their way or no way. People would rather club each other over the head like baby seals rather then LISTENING to another viewpoint. We now live in a society where a woman will beat the snot out of another woman over the barney banjo they are arguing over. Yes this actually happened.......You just cant make this shit up (I ran this call! More to follow on this). As an example a guy will post a video of the Patterson Bigfoot film on you tube and the next thing you know people are going at it to the point that they are blasting each others religion. REALLY!!!!!! I mean come on. You're really going to hurl insults over Bigfoot? WHO cares one way or the other. Is it real? Hell I don't know! It could be, then again it might not be. It certainly has not been proven beyond a doubt thats for sure. I am relatively sure that regardless of wether it's real or not it's not going to pay my mortgage. HOWEVER..........I wouldn't argue with Bigfoot if he offered to! I can say this. Iv'e met guys who I consider to be honest people that say they have had face to face encounters with one. Guys who really have nothing to gain and everything to lose by making that kind of claim. The bottom line is each person needs to decide what they believe in without the fear of some douche wagon passing judgment on their existence. Hey buddy whats that in your eye? OH SHIT IT'S A PLANK! For the love of God don't be such an asshole. If you disagree with someone just say so. You don't have to engage in the practice of personal attacks. If you want to vent your spleen on any given subject start a blog! Later this weekend KHARMAS A BITCH.