OK here we go. Deep breath........
I transported this guy this morning who called due to his vomiting blood. I got on scene as the EMT's were working on a pressure and doing the EMT thing in general. All it took was one look at this guy to know he was not in a good place. Picture this. Johnny Depp minus 100 pounds covered in tattoos and track marks with eyes as yellow as a diabetics urine. OK he didn't look at all like Johnny Depp more like death eating a cracker in an lazy boy. He looks up at me with the wisdom every heroin / meth addict seems to have and says "I don't feel so good". Well no shit sparky. You have spent the last 25 years pumping draino into your body while smoking house hold cleaning chemicals. While this is going on his wife pipes off with "the blood is still in the sink if you want to see it"! What the hell I'm game. After instructing the EMT's to get him outside and spike two bags for me I follow pizza the hut in a moomoo back into the bathroom of the living hell of a trailer I have found my self in making sure not to kick over the baby's toys or the graphics bong. To my amazement there is no less than 1000 cc's of clotted blood in the sink. Enough for the Goverment to declare this place a Superfund haz mat site given the petrie dish I have for a patient. Once again Pizza pipes off with more wonderful info "there was at least that much in the toilet but I flushed that cause I had to go pee." REALLY?! Did you really need to give me that mental image at 0705 in the morning? With this little tid bit of info I sallied forth unto my bambolance to begin replacing fluid into the stick man who's lost a third of his volume and has a pressure of somewhere around 60. As I'm getting ready to stick this guy he looks at me and says "hey man I don't like needles" Are you F*&@#&^ kidding me? Your covered in tattoos and track marks! I replied how do ya feel about coffins? He didn't get it. He got two 14g IVs and 2400 cc's of fluid before I got him to the ER and had a pressure of 80/40. Nice as could be in the ambulance. He gets in the ER and starts yelling "I feel fine I don't need the F*&^*$@ gown I'm not staying. There are some people on the planet that should not be allowed to dial 911. What a maroon.
I transported this guy this morning who called due to his vomiting blood. I got on scene as the EMT's were working on a pressure and doing the EMT thing in general. All it took was one look at this guy to know he was not in a good place. Picture this. Johnny Depp minus 100 pounds covered in tattoos and track marks with eyes as yellow as a diabetics urine. OK he didn't look at all like Johnny Depp more like death eating a cracker in an lazy boy. He looks up at me with the wisdom every heroin / meth addict seems to have and says "I don't feel so good". Well no shit sparky. You have spent the last 25 years pumping draino into your body while smoking house hold cleaning chemicals. While this is going on his wife pipes off with "the blood is still in the sink if you want to see it"! What the hell I'm game. After instructing the EMT's to get him outside and spike two bags for me I follow pizza the hut in a moomoo back into the bathroom of the living hell of a trailer I have found my self in making sure not to kick over the baby's toys or the graphics bong. To my amazement there is no less than 1000 cc's of clotted blood in the sink. Enough for the Goverment to declare this place a Superfund haz mat site given the petrie dish I have for a patient. Once again Pizza pipes off with more wonderful info "there was at least that much in the toilet but I flushed that cause I had to go pee." REALLY?! Did you really need to give me that mental image at 0705 in the morning? With this little tid bit of info I sallied forth unto my bambolance to begin replacing fluid into the stick man who's lost a third of his volume and has a pressure of somewhere around 60. As I'm getting ready to stick this guy he looks at me and says "hey man I don't like needles" Are you F*&@#&^ kidding me? Your covered in tattoos and track marks! I replied how do ya feel about coffins? He didn't get it. He got two 14g IVs and 2400 cc's of fluid before I got him to the ER and had a pressure of 80/40. Nice as could be in the ambulance. He gets in the ER and starts yelling "I feel fine I don't need the F*&^*$@ gown I'm not staying. There are some people on the planet that should not be allowed to dial 911. What a maroon.
2 comments:
Yup. And Chapter 2 of this fine story opens as you punt to your friendly neighborhood ER staff. Who get to endure hours of such ungrateful bullshit and whininess... Over a malady that is entirely self-provoked. Yes, you feel like ass, but it's your own damn fault.
I like the junkies with track marks and skin pops or the people with a pit in their AC from "plazzing" who balk at my very humane 20g. It's small and it's clean and I know what I'm doing with it - I know that's a departure from the norm, but sheddap already.
Then when you two and your buddies are all done with them.....it's my turn!!! (aaaah haaaa) And if you think they have issues with you guys (who usually make them feel better physically), YOU should see how they act when they got me breathing down their necks and throwing them in jail if they relapse and use the shit that got them there to begin with!!! Oh yea, they are really sweeties. And just think - I get to search those hellish homes and bathrooms and bedrooms and nether regions!!!!! All I can say is.....thank god my parents scared the shit out of me growing up so that I stayed pretty close to the right path!!!
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